Returning With Vision

(cohesion |kōˈhē zh ən|noun the action or fact of forming a united whole : the work at present lacks cohesion.)

Cohesive was the last word I remembered while going to bed last night after a day of transformation and integration with my beautiful partner Jane.  There was really only one thing keeping me back from surrendering to this beautiful reality that surrounds my life.  Resistance.  When I step outside every morning to pee and I look into the forest and out to the ocean, I am always greeted with my reflection for the day.  It has either been serene and open, or blurred and constricting.  Usually it has been the latter, and it has me wondering why?

We often hear about the hero’s journey where every brave soul dawns on the unrelenting need to break free from constraints in their life and venture into the unknown to discover deep inner resources not having known they existed within before.  It is then the duty of the candidate to close the cycle to begin anew by returning home, which means to integrate into community, and share that story with their people.  Completion is as important as initiation because otherwise a person can get caught in limbo by losing direction, or getting caught in attachment of escapism, or an obsessive search for meaning.

The heroes journey I was on took a turn than you would not expect when thinking of the tales of grandeur often told by hollywood with heros slaying dragons, and warriors questing across the slopes and steppes of babylon and cosmic battlefields.  My quest did involve adventure and risk in the outer reaches of society, even into the wild and remote reaches of Canada’s North Pacific and rugged shores of Haida Gwaii and Alaska by boat.  Those wild and rugged places were only a portion of my journey offering challenge and reflection on a physical level.  Occurring simultaneously was an inner battle with emotions of fear, shame, and guilt that showed me an entirely new facet of reality that I wouldn’t have ever known.  This reality was in the emotional, spiritual and mental realm that are all at work simultaneously and in parallel with everything seeming to occur on the outside.

Now I am recognizing the end of that cycle in what I am coming to understand as integration.  It hasn’t been in the field where I have needed to face some of the most challenging fears, but in fact upon my return to civilization that I have been challenged the most by something I would have never expected called humility.  Part of what I learned about myself is that I carry a leadership quality that is necessary to share for the assistance of our culture and community to shift into a new paradigm that brings harmony, courage and balance to our way.  And what I expected least was that at the core of the leadership quality is humility and the ability to follow the lead of others.

So I come full circle to the concept of cohesion as an act or fact of forming a united whole.  Here I am entering wholeness, one step at a time, integrating my lessons and beginning to share my hero’s journey.  I know now why my view from the back porch every morning takes a different lens, showing me how far I have come across my inner landscape to see clearly who I am and how I interpret the world.  It is all about sharing gifts as we are all meant to live in a community where we help each other live and grow in abundance.  I read a quote recently that says it all.

“In the shelter of one another we find ourselves”.